Danny Bonaduce [Finally] Leaves The Adam Carolla Show!

The Adam Carolla Show is one of the greatest radio shows in existence. Many might disagree with me here, but Carolla has consistently entertained me over the past 6 years. This is why the introduction of Danny Bonaduce, in January 2007, was such a blow to me. Here was a man’s show which I followed with near religious fervor being soiled by the constant spouting of a washed up, bad memory of that terrible decade known as the 70’s. A “personality” brought in to “entertain” the ignorant masses… the really ignorant masses. A man whose only draw is his history as a homeless, drug-addled former child star who admittedly is a terrible actor. Apparently in our ultra-low expectation society, this sort of thing appeals to the common man, or so KLSX/CBS Radio thought. This idea was completely insane to me, a person with no experience in the radio industry. I only knew what I knew as a dedicated fan or Mr. Carolla, and that was more than enough to know Bonaduce was a terrible addition.
While Carolla tells of the experiences as an actual common man who worked his way to his dream, Bonaduce could only repeat the same stories, which invariably fell into 4 categories: Poor Impulse Control, Meaningless Tidbits of Self Proclaimed Fact, Shameless Self Promotion, and Personal History of Shallow Relationships. In an attempt to not be so totally hurtful in my analysis of Bonaduce, I will admit he did make me laugh on a somewhat regular basis: his ever present category of Meaningless Tidbits of Self Proclaimed Fact. Despite the fact that I immediately cringed after each, I would in fact laugh… at him. I mean come on, who can help but laugh at an idiot like that? He would actually be terribly pleased with himself after vomiting these “facts” into the microphone.
The fact of the matter is Danny Bonaduce is a very sad case of a sociopathic life gone even worse, never to be a normal sociopath again. All we can do now is attempt to keep him out of our collective, national sight. Which brings up a point, I wonder if we can have him shipped to Mexico, or something like that. I do think it’s cruel and unusual punishment for the Mexican people to endure such a monstrosity of a human, but come on, they send millions of people here; the least they can do it take 1 extremely toxic case of human baggage off our hands. Anyway, exile aside, I’m glad CBS finally fired him from Carolla’s show. I can only wonder at the idiotic management who decided to give him an entire year of wrecking an otherwise great show. They must have been sharing the crack pipe with Bonaduce. As a public service announcement, I’d like to warn everyone: if you see a 5 foot tall man-monster with a face like a thumbprint walking down the street, flee immediately. He may look fairly non-threatening but trust me; he can suck the soul right out of a person.
***
Addendum: If Mr. Bonaduce ever learns to actually operate a computer and reads this, please know that no one is impressed with the money you are making. A few million is hardly something to tell the world about these days. You have to get out of 1976, if only for your own good.